Here's something that not a lot of guys know about me--I am a BIG DIY guy. It's safe to say that my sister and I have DIY'd and renovated at least 80% of our house. From top to bottom, we tore down walls and floors, reinstalled windows and doors, drywalled, and installed a new kitchen---we even turned half of our back porch into a laundry room, building it from scratch.
Ironically, all of this happened at a time in life when God had me under construction. Those who have read my books know that after I graduated from UFV, God did not open doors for me to go into ministry immediately. He didn't allow any doors to open, but instead, let my ankle be so severely injured that I had no option but to return to my parent's house so that my ankle could heal. More importantly, so that I could face my past, my Dad's lies and abuse, and the issues in my heart.
This was not part of my plan for my life. The truth was that I really did love Jesus, and I wanted to serve Him. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had placed a call on my life to minister to men---however, there were some issues in my life that were strongholds in my life. Not only were these issues making it impossible for me to be the minister that I wanted to be and fulfill God's call on my life, but they were also keeping me in bondage and preventing me from being the godly man that I needed to be personally. I needed to do some demolition in my own heart.
I had issues I needed to face, things I needed to remember, sins I needed to confess, and new ways of thinking that needed to be developed so that I could walk forward in freedom, being the man God wanted and I wanted to be.
Here's one of the things I learned---the steps to tearing down strongholds in your life are a lot like the steps to remodeling a house.
1: We have to admit there is a problem.
One of the biggest things that keep people trapped in strongholds is lies---telling themselves that there is no problem---they don't have anything to deal with. It isn't until you come to the point where you get sick of living with your strongholds and say, "Enough is enough--- I'm going to do something about this," that you can seriously overcome.
One of the big problems in our house was that our plumbing ran uphill instead of downhill like it was supposed to. (I can still see the plumber laughing.) Well, here's the thing---because of this builder's error, our bathtub and sinks would never drain right, and the water would never drain properly, leaving a foul odor---it would stink.
For years, we just lived with it.
It wasn't until one day my Mom said this smell just wasn't right and called a plumber to address the problem that it could be fixed. When she got sick of the situation, it could be addressed.
But here's the thing---as men, too often, we're content to stand in a spiritual shower that's filling with water, watching it overflow onto the floor, flood the house, and cause all kinds of damage while we say, "It's no big deal---no problem here, have a nice day."
Obviously, that would be ridiculous, but we do it so often in our own lives---I did it. Yet, when we admit that there is a problem, we can start doing something to fix it.
2. We must find the root of the problem.
To solve problems, we had to find out what was causing the problem and then remove it. The same thing is true in our lives.
After we decide that we aren't going to excuse our issues or cover over them anymore, we need to take time, get alone with God, and allow the Holy Spirit to show us the root cause of our issues---the stronghold in our lives.
You need to allow the Holy Spirit to show you when the stronghold took root in your life. Where were you? What were you doing? What sin did you commit that started the oppression in your life?
Here's the thing: Most strongholds are the result of one of three things:
-The unconfessed sin that you are committing in your life.
-Unresolved issues from your past---either things you've done or things that were done to you
-Generational strongholds.
Once you identify the root of the problem, it's time for my favorite part: Demolition.
3. Demolition
One of my favorite parts about home renovating was demolition. I loved ripping things apart and tearing them down.
Guys, the same thing is true in our spiritual lives.
To overcome the strongholds in our lives, we need to do the work of demolition and literally tear them down.
We do this through confession. Confession is like shining a light on the lies and bringing them out of the darkness to be addressed.
When we expose the dark stronghold to the light, we deal a death blow to our stronghold.
Find a TRUSTED MATURE believer to whom you can confess your sin. Tell them what is going on and let them know you are in the fight of your life to defeat this stronghold. The enemy cannot keep you bound and living in shame when you confess the sin to others. It is one way of dealing a blow to the core.
4. Take out the trash.
I remember back in the day, after we would demo a room, it was a mess. There was garbage everywhere. It seemed like, for a while, we had the garbage man on speed dial. It wasn't enough to demo the problem areas---we then had to find a way to get rid of the junk and dispose of it from our lives forever.
How do we do this in our spiritual lives?
Guys, the key to taking out the trash is forgiveness.
We need to choose to forgive those who have hurt us and even ourselves for what we have done. The truth is that NOTHING removes a stronghold from your life like making the conscious choice to forgive.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool that allows us to say, "I know what happened was wrong, and it caused major damage---but I'm not dragging this garbage around with me for the rest of my life. Today, I am learning this at the foot of the cross, allowing Jesus to deal with the person who hurt me, and I'm walking forward in freedom."
It's like taking out the trash in your life---and it's necessary before you can move to the next step.
5. Rebuilding
So here's the thing---you can't just gut a room---rip it apart—take out the trash, and then leave it like that.
The same thing is true in our lives.
The real work of restoration comes when you choose to rebuild.
How do we do that?
We must commit to building a personal relationship with Jesus through a consistent, daily prayer life.
We need to be in the Word of God every day, not just reading it but allowing it to change us.
We need to commit to a local church where we can be accountable to other believers and challenged to grow in our walk with God.
We need to keep pursuing spiritual growth by reading, studying, and outreach.
One fundamental way to rebuild your life is accountability---get involved in your local men's group.
Find a mentor for accountability.
We need to rebuild; it is a crucial step.
Finally, we come to our sixth and final point:
6. Show Off Your Work
Men, have you ever thought about the fact that you are God's "Big reveal"?
Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (NIV)
Think about it: You---your testimony---are God's handiwork. When you have done the work of tearing down your strongholds, taking out the trash in your life, and learning how to live as a godly man…your testimony becomes God's big reveal. It's how He shows the world what is possible through His grace, His healing, and what His power can do.
I've learned throughout my life that whenever I share my testimony of the strongholds that God has demolished in my life, it does more than encourage other men that the same is possible for them. (Although that's a pretty powerful thing.) It also keeps the stronghold from regaining a foothold in my life.
The truth is that the enemy hates when we share our testimony because there's something powerful that not only sets other people free but it helps us to live in freedom.
That's why I am a big believer in showing off the work God has done. Not in a proud, boastful way, but as the apostle Paul did when he'd say, "I used to be this…but through the power of Jesus, I am different."
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